Millions of books and articles have been written on how to revive and rekindle the sexual passion in long-term relationships. You probably know the list by heart,...wear sexy lingerie, try new sex positions, use body language, talk dirty, share your sexual fantasies, and basically learn how to be a better lover in general, blah, blah, blah... BUT, If you really want to recapture the passion that was once in your love life, read these 10 tips on how to tantalize him outside of the bedroom and really turn him on when it matters the most--inside the bedroom.
Everyone stops and stares as she walks by. Even Mr. Wickerson, the grumpy neighbor next door, who eagerly times his daily departure to work, just to merely catch a glimpse of her legs and a whiff of her perfume as she sashays to get into her car. The average attractive woman has the ability to cause an admiring driver to miss his turn before the light changes; and the guys at work to look forward to the next day, just to see what she is wearing. So what could possibly be the problem? Well, the problem is learning how to maintain the smoldering captivation of the man who sleeps next to her each night. The man who reaches to kiss her each night with rollers in her hair, but decides a good night peck would be better because he has yet to acquire a taste for facial moisturizer.
Being a witness to the transformation of the woman he loves from not-fit-for-public to sex goddess while she shaves her arm pits and legs, flosses her teeth and gives herself a mud facial is not, -exactly- sexually appealing. It's like watching someone kill the cow and grind the beef, before serving your hamburger to you. Yes, you love him and he loves you, but love doesn't necessarily make ones heart race and pupils dilate without the proper visual and social stimulation. However, love and desire can be combined if a woman learns how to bring passion back into the bedroom, by making her mate see her as other men do.
Sex is prevalent in the media. It portrays an illusion of beauty that leads people to believe that everyone is living sexually fulfilling lives of bliss. "Everyone is getting more and better sex than me," we think to ourselves. But the reality is the sex we see outside of our bedrooms in Playboy-type-magazines, exotic dance clubs and glamorous models and movie stars create a fantasy that compels us to sigh at our own sexual attractive and boring sex life.
We express or sexuality not only in the bedroom where no one can see us; we also express it publicly in how we display our physical appeal by our choice of hairstyle, clothing, make-up, perfume, and even the way we walk. Therefore, the magic that we clamor to bring back to the bedroom constantly eludes us because it was never created there in the first place. What attracted him to you, and you to him took place outside of the bedroom. The love and passion found in the bedroom is actually a combination of the sexual illusion and the real person. Contrary to what most sex literature tells us, actually romance and good sex are a reflection of what is going on OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
1. Have him visit you on your job. You have a special personality that exudes the essence of your being. This is what makes you special. Maybe you have a frisky way of moving your hair and engaging your body close to others during conversations that drives him crazy with jealousy and desire. Remind him. Let him observe your intellectual side.
2. Go dancing. Let him watch other men watch you. Wear your sexiest outfit. Be yourself. Bewitchingly shift your eyes across the room and flirtingly give brief eye contact to everyone you meet. The most beautiful women in the room will feel a bit intimidated by your boldness and the men will find your openness unforgettable.
3. While doing household chores and running weekend errands, wear something covertly sexy. There is nothing sexier than the ragged shirt that shows your cleavage when you bend over to dust the furniture. Wear a little make-up in the house and find that I-didn't-know-I-was-sexy-hairstyle that makes him peek over his Saturday morning newspaper.
4. Go out with the girls but model the outfit you will be wearing for him. Let him imagine what other men will think when they see you in that dress.
5. Create distance and closeness in the relationship at the same time. Have dinner with a friend during the week, but send him a card telling him how much you love him. Call him to let him know you miss him, but don't go over to his house for dinner. The point is to let his know you love him, but give him space to miss you. Men respect independent women who are not afraid to show their vulnerability.
6. Find a hobby. The biggest part of sex appeal is being an interesting person. This will give you something exciting to talk about in addition to expanding your knowledge base. What separates you from other women is more mental than physical; dazzle him with your enthusiasm for life.
7. Go on vacation together. Wear clothing that he has never seen you wear before. Read about where you are going and impress him with your knowledge. He thinks he knows you? Let him think again.
8. Faithfully, exercise and diet alone. Do you share with others each time you floss your teeth? Well why share that you have an extra few pounds you want to get rid of. It's none of his business. What matters is the end product. Men are not sexually drawn to women who are constantly whining about their weight. Even if he was initially attracted, you keep telling him why he should be appalled. Get it? Wear nice clothes, eat healthy and keep the grungy details to yourself.
9. Visit him on his job. Dressed to kill only. No exceptions! Remember how handsome you thought he was in his work attire? Rehash those feelings. Don't forget the sassy, receptionist in the mini-skirt who looked disappointed to find way out that your man is in a committed relationship. And while you're there, meet his male co-workers who will remind him of how lucky he is to have you.
10. Treat him the way you treat other men. Do you still say thank you when he takes you out to dinner? Say please when you ask him for a favor; don't demand or whine. Respect his feelings and don't embarrass him in front of his friends. Really listen to him when he talks to you about his day. Don't neglect the friendship aspect of your relationship.
Remember that any fairly attractive woman in the right outfit can turn your man's head, but if you want to keep his attention it is essential that you learn to connect with his mind. All sex literature agrees that the brain is the largest sex organ.
Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, Psy.D is a mother of two teenagers, a full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today's Black Woman Magazine, Seminar facilitator, author of "A Woman's Soul on Paper" ISBN: 0595171435. Dr. Sturges is the author and publisher of Authentik Beauty Magazine. A 1 year subscription to Authentik Beauty Magazine is only $49.99 for 6 issues; mail request to: Authentik Beauty Magazine, P.O. Box 980679, Ypsilanti, MI 48197. Caution: Articles and clipart are sensuously and beautifully designed for a mature audience only. We accept cash, checks & all major credit cards. If you are seeking retail therapy or the perfect gift for someone else, I am an independent AVON representative, shop my
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