The most basic of all human relationship is the one between a man and a woman. Human sexuality is one of God's gifts that must be properly used and not shamefully abused. Sex is like a cell phone; it can be properly used or misused. God who created us could have as well put us in total ignorance of what our sexual organs are meant for apart from urinating. Then, did he give us for the pleasure of it? No.
The sexual act in marriage is intended to add bond to the intimacy and oneness of both the husband and the wife. It is not a one-time act or what you do just to have a release. It is a response to each other in affection, love and total acceptance of one another. It is not meant to be done under pressure or force. Sex in marriage is a fellowship. It is an experience and a communication that derives fulfillment and liberty. It helps in bringing growth and development in the relationship and depth to trust and confidence in each other. It provokes and evokes transparency and absolute nakedness between the husband and the wife.
This sexual intercourse is meant to bring conformity and uniformity of both the man and his wife, not just from the physical perspective alone, but the spiritual. i.e. it brings oneness and warmness in all areas of the couples life. In addition, sex in marriage is not what you can replace with homosexuality, lesbianism, masturbation or sexual intercourse with animals and other sexual object. From God's perspective, sex in marriage is to bring out two important things among others. "Joining and becoming". i.e. To join you and your legally married wife together in mind, flesh and body. In addition, to make you become like the other or member of the other person.
Let me be more scriptural in this area. When an angel came to visit Mary (the mother of Jesus) and told her that she will conceive and bear a son. Hear what the bible recorded. "Then Mary said unto the angel, how shall this be, seeing I know not a man? (KJV).
It should amaze you here that the King James Version of the bible used the word "know" to mean sex in this area. "Know" here means to have proper information about a man's body because of your experience of him. It talks about your familiarity about the functioning of a man's body. Therefore, Mary is saying that she is short of experience in this area because she has not come to experience any man by means of intercourse.
Let me go on further to exposit this verse of the bible. It really means that it takes your experience of the man for you to know him. You have to feel him in a more intimate relationship and experience his touch differently from other touch. Take this for example; a strange man whom did not know at all, probably in a grocery store suddenly touches you. Immediately you will react to the touch and the look on your face will show that you feel embarrassed. The whole reason is because the man is strange. On the other hand, if the man is your husband, do you feel embarrassed? No. Why? Because he is your husband and you know him. Yet the knowing we are addressing here is not of face, recognition or by eyesight.
THE KNOWING.
The knowing in sexual intercourse is the knowledge of both "the body and the mind". Sexual relationship is a way of knowing each other intimately, deeply and personally. The man knows the woman through the act and likewise the woman. Like I said earlier it is not a knowing by face, but a knowing ti the innermost thoughts, feelings, expressions and yearnings of each other. This sex helps both the man and his wife to take knowledge of each other intimately. That is, they progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with each other, recognizing, perceiving and understanding each other in a personal way. Now, acquainted" here means to be familiar with each other or get used to desires, feelings and peculiarities of the other person.
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