I'm noticing a crazy phenomenon that's starting to permeate our romance culture. Suddenly, the dating scene is crawling with male cubs prowling around for lady cougars to invite him them into their dens. Whereas we may consider beauty a fading memory, now we can hardly go to a bar or online social lounge without attracting the eye of someone who was still in diapers long after we'd reached adulthood. CougarLife.com has a TV ad blitz on the air, capitalizing on this trend.
After at least a century of idealizing feminine beauty and sex appeal towards the appearance of youth, American romance culture is tilting the other way. Now, all the younger guys want older women. I don't mean just 20-something guys wanting women in their late thirties - I'm talking women into their late SIXTIES, who aren't afraid to show their wrinkled cleavage, eye bags and surgery scars. Amazingly, older women are enjoying a new renaissance of sexual desirability.
It all begs the question - why? I have a few different theories:
A. It's a rough economy, and guys don't want to have to pay the tab every time. Chances are, a woman of that certain age will also have that certain source of income, either in the form of a steady job, inheritance, or cushy divorce settlement. Particularly for men with less experience still struggling to hit paydirt or gain steady employment, a companion who can pay her own way (maybe his too, if he flatters her enough) has a strong appeal.
B. An older woman can't have children, but she can have all the sex she wants. See note on economy, above. Who can even afford to have kids these days? Yet nearly all younger women are still going to want them or may already have one or two young ones lying around. An older woman is either guaranteed childless, or her kids are grown enough not to be an issue any more. Guys get a stable, adult relationship they can count on maintaining without interference by any biological clocks. It takes the peril out of having frequent sex. And any woman who chooses to take a younger lover most likely wants it as much as he does, so they're a more compatible match as well.
C. The Baby Boomers are no longer babies, and mainstream media and advertising are finally recognizing that beauty is timeless. The plain demographic fact is that there are many more older women now than men in Gen Y. Which means the pickings are good for the cubs as older husbands die off or board the alimony train. Meanwhile, movements like Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty, celebrities like Sharon Stone and Helen Mirren, and the fact that at age 58 Isabella Rosselini is still a working cosmetics model, are all making it possible for us to drop our youth obsession.
I'd love to hear from women of all ages with their take on this, especially younger ones. Are you seeing it where you hang out? What do you think might explain this phenomenon?
- JS
Julie Stewart is a lifelong writer with a checkered past that includes law practice, legislative affairs, public relations and advertising. In short, every vilified profession except used car dealer. "Writer" at least has that certain air of intrigue, without making people feel like you're going to lie to them.
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